Various Artists - Modernists 4 (and an interview with Tony from Modern Urban Jazz).

VariousArtists - Modernists 4 (Modern Urban Jazz)
This time I am reviewing a cassette tape that I was sent by Tony from Modern Urban Jazz who also agreed to answer some questions for me so I would like to thank him for both sending the tape and also for answering the questions. Here are the questions that I asked and the answers:

Can you tell me a bit about your label; things like how long have you been doing a record label and why did you start it? Why did you call it Modern Urban Jazz? Do you sell much or do you have to have another job as well?
I first started the record label back in 1995, so a fair few years ago now. I started it initially as somewhere that myself and other artists I was working with could release some of the more challenging or experimental drum and bass that we were making at the time, and it also let me have control of what I was releasing and how or when I wanted to release it. I called it Modern Urban Jazz because I felt the music that we were making was akin to jazz in its non-conformist and no rules approach. I like jazz and had always been influenced by it so it felt right to use the jazz name. The modern bit was all about bringing our own futuristic take on jazz, making it modern and the urban because well it's the music of the cities and towns it was being made in and listened to in. It just seemed to fit together as a name and summed up what the music was about. The releases we do on the label in the physical forms, the records, tapes, cd's etc are always in a limited amount and we release digitally as well. The label does make some money which we usually invest back into the next projects. I work in education as well and do mentoring and teaching with 11-16 year olds.

I have reviewed a few tapes recently and enjoyed them very much, why did you decide to release this on tape as well as CD and do you listen to tapes at home - if so can you tell me about them?
When you have a label, you find yourself in a position where you are able to release music that you like and you can release it in lots of different formats. Tapes really seem to be making a comeback at the moment and this really appeals to me because as a kid I used to have loads of tapes with different music on. A lot of it was hip hop and then house and the developing rave scene. I used to walk round taping stuff when i was young so I have always had a love of tape, and wanted to put one out. I still have many of those same tapes at home and lately I have been listening to a hip hop mix tape by DJ Premier from New York from the mid 90's , a tape by Bobby Womack and the Valentinos and another tape we did in collaboration with Rawtrachs, called Jump and accept the power, which we put out a while back.

Modernists 4 is a compilation with lots of different people on it, how did you find the people to go on it?  
When I put something together a project or an LP, things often happen quite organically or naturally. This LP is the 4th in the Modernists series and I wanted it to be more varied and different musically from the others we had released in the past. Rawtrachs has a track on there and I met him because he interviewed me for his fanzine, I found out he also did music so got him to do a track. I met Burlish as he had also been interviewed for the same fanzine and I also DJ-ed at his night in Birmingham and I liked the tracks he sent me. Critical resistance I met via twitter and soundcloud via the internet which is a really useful tool for artists getting in contact or being able to network with different people. We have people who we work with regularly like Jason oS from Canada, so it’s a nice blend of people we have stumbled across, established artists and my own work or collaborations like Just in from Michigan with Metro.

I'm a Londoner and like living in London because there's plenty of things to see and do so I never get bored. Where are you from and do you like it and if so why? 
I am from Luton, which is not far from you, and yes I don’t mind it, it’s my hometown and base. I don’t really get bored as I have a wife and two boys who keep me entertained in between doing music and running the label. But if I want to I can hop on a train or drive and be in London in about half an hour which is good because we do the mastering for our music in London, plus I like London as well so enjoy a visit to different record shops or pubs, to get some food or have a look about, I never get bored there either.

           I thought that was all very interesting because it is interesting to learn a little bit about how record labels work and I was surprised to learn that running a record label doesn't make you enough to live on. I think it's a shame that Tony doesn't make a living out of it but being a teacher is a good job to have, education is very important because if there were no teachers then children wouldn't be able to learn anything. I also thought it was interesting that Tony comes from Luton - I went to Luton once when I lived in Leavesden Hospital and we had a day trip to go all round the town and to the cinema where we saw Basic Instinct and I thought it was a very nice place and the people there were very friendly people.
            Another thing that I thought was interesting was how Tony talked about getting the different artists together to put on the tape. I've got a few compilations at home but they are mostly 50's and 60's rock and roll ones and not electronic music like this is, I think compilations are a good thing to have because they have a lot of different people on them and it is good to listen to different people.
             The person who starts off side one of the tape is the Burlish person that Tony talked about in his answers and his song starts off with electronic drums which sound a bit like fast marching drums and then over the top comes synthesiser bits which sound like long echoes in a tunnel and then there are bits which sound like a big bell being hit softly - I thought this was quite a relaxing tune even though the drums are quite fast and I thought it was a nice way to start the tape.
             After the Burlish tune is a tune by Icons called Time Undefined and this is another quite relaxing tune which I thought was perfect for a sunny day like today and would be nice to listen to in your garden having a drink and a sandwich and just taking it easy. I'm not in my garden though because I'm at The Gate doing record reviews but I don't mind being in here because I like doing the reviews.
              The next song on the tape Betamax Heard which is a funny name because I've not heard the word Betamax for ages because I don't think you can buy Betamax's anymore because they are out of date so I thought it was interesting that a person has called themselves after them. The music doesn't sound out of date though because it is electronic party music and it sounds modern to me because electronic music is quite new - when I was young the music at parties always used to be rock and roll because electronic music wasn't invented then. I like this song very much, it seems quite a happy and cheerful song  which I thought was another one which is perfect for the summer weather.
             Next up is a song by somebody called Rawtrachs which is another party tune with drums in it which reminded me of marching drummers and I thought of them parading down the street. I didn't think this one was as summery as the last two because  it's not as happy sounding but I still liked it a lot.
               After that tune is a song by Deep Blue and Justice and I liked this a lot too. Justice is the name that Tony who sent the tape uses when he's making music - I think he is very good at making music and have heard his music before when I reviewed a record of his before that I liked very much, this song is another one which sounds quite relaxed even though the drums are quite fast on it.
                The next song is called Cope by somebody called fume and this one I thought was great, it has a big, jazzy drumbeat and keyboard space sounds and I thought it sounded a bit like it could be the music for a space film about astronauts who go into orbit and come back and go to a jazz club; I think this would be a very good film indeed.
                 On the B-side of the tape it begins with a song by Milestone and it starts off with a lovely piano bit which goes over and over and then the drums come in and it gets very funky and different piano bits come in - I thought this was another nice relaxing tune which would be good to chill out too.
                  The next song has piano in it too but it is faster piano because this is a faster type of song. I liked this one because it had that nice Jazz singing in that just goes "ba ba baba ba" instead of having words.
                   After that song is a song by Consumer which is another one that made me think of space. It is quite a noisy one with metal clanking sounds for drums that made me think of the robot dancing that you used to see on the telly in the eighties. I used to enjoy seeing the robot dancing because it was a very different way of dancing and I also thought it was a bit funny so it was good to be reminded of it.
                  Next up is another one by Betamax heard and like his other one it another tune that would be good for a summer party maybe on a beach somewhere like Brighton or Southend - I'm going Southend this weekend but I don't think there will be any music there because I'm not going to a party there.
                 Then there is another song by Tony but this time with somebody called Metro which I thought was very good and quite spacey again and after that is the final song which is really nice because it is very mellow with a drumbeat that sounds a bit like a heartbeat and I thought this was a very nice way of ending the tape.
                    Overall I would say I enjoyed this tape a lot and I definitely think it is a good tape for the summer especially if you were going to have a party in your garden. Another reason that i liked it was because there are lots of different things to listen to on it and they are all very interesting and nice to listen to. I would give this tape 10 out of 10.

Kelpe - Fourth: The Golden Eagle.

Kelpe - Fourth: The Golden Eagle (Drut Recordings)
Today I am reviewing a record of what I think sounds like electronic party music by a guy called Kelpe who sent me the record himself so I would like to thank him for sending me it. When we were first doing this record my friend Darren who also comes to the Gate heard it and said he would help with the review and I said he could because Darren is a rapper so he knows a lot about music. Darren said that this music that Kelpe does is like Instrumental Hip-Hop which is rap music without the rapping in it. I don't know know too much about Hip-Hop music so I am glad to be doing this review so I can hear something new.
           The first song is called Astrolomy and it starts off quite quiet with a noise that sounds a bit like when you do that thing with you finger and a wine glass to make it make noise and then there is an instrument that I thought sounded like a middle eastern guitar and then there are some very jazzy drums. This goes on for a bit and then there are all different instruments that I didn't know what they were but Darren said they were probably synthesisers. I thought this was a very funky song with lots of different things to listen to in it and I liked it very much and thought it was a good start to the record and that it would be a good song to play at a party to get people dancing.

Drawing by Clare Louise Miller.

           The next song is called Beaks of Eagles and it starts off quite slowly with a noise like angels singing and I thought it sounded a bit like the record was warped on this bit and so was playing a bit funny but the record isn't warped because it's supposed to sound like that which I thought was very interesting. This song is a bit more relaxing than the last one but would still be good for a party I think because it is still very funky. One bit I really liked on this was near the end where there is a sound like trumpets because this reminded me of angels as well so I think maybe that's what the song is about.
          The next song is my favourite so far because it reminded me of a the music for science fiction films in the Seventies, it is called Superzero Theme so maybe it's a song about a man with powers like Superman or Kiss Ass. If I was a superhero Darren said I could be called Smoke Man because i smoke a lot of cigarettes and I think that's a good idea and I think I'd quite like to be a superhero.
          After this is one that starts of all slow with a noise like water taps which made me think of music to play when you are in the bathroom but then it speeded up and got all funky and sounded more like music for a disco club again but I still think you could dance to it in your bathroom if you wanted to.
           Next is Nice Eyes in My Size which is slower than the others have been and all weird and a bit wonky - I liked this one a lot because of this because it sounded very different to songs i've heard before.
           The next song which is the first song on the second side is called Single Stripe and is quite weird too because it has an instrument in it which sounds very farty which I thought was funny. This isn't all there is in this song though because there is singing in it which made me think of angels again and overall it's a very lovely song really.
            Glinterlude is the next song and this one is a very fast one with noises in it like I imagine electricity would make if there was lots of it and after that is a song called puds which made me think of a spaceship in orbit with people floating round in it having a good time - I'd quite like to go up in a spaceship one day to see what it's like in space but I don't think that's likely to happen because I'm getting on a bit, it's a nice thing to think about though.
              After Puds is Outwhere which is another quite spacey one but slower this time maybe which made me think of science fiction stuff again like aliens and robots and spaceships and that. I liked this because I like science fiction especially old films like The Day the Earth Stood Still and The Day the Earth Caught Fire which are both excellent films that I enjoyed very much.
              The next song is the last song and is called Answered and it is quite a relaxed tune that I thought was very summery sounding and very good to be playing on a sunny day like today. I think the whole record is quite summery really because it's quite a fun record with nice songs to dance to or just listen to while you sit in the sun maybe on a beach or in a park. I liked this record very much indeed and if you would like to hear it you can do on the thing below. I would give this record 10 out of 10.
             

Lucifer's Foreskin - Satanic Vulvacrafts.

Lucifer's Foreskin - Satanic Vulvacrafts (Infernal Machines / Crucial Blast)
This time we are doing a noisy tape from a very strange band with a very strange name because they are called Lucifer's Foreskin - It is a strange name because Lucifer is the devil and a foreskin is a bit of the penis and I've never heard of a band named after a bit of the penis before so I thought that was a bit funny. I think some people might get offended about this name because it's a bit rude but I think it's ok really and I think the band were probably just trying to be funny.
           I think that people might get offended also because of the devil stuff too and think that this is music for devil-worship but I think devil-worshippers are probably alright really and I don't mind them because you need all sorts of people in the world. I don't think you need to be a devil-worshipper though to listen to this tape because anybody can listen to music so even though I go to church I am going to listen to it anyway because I don't think anything will happen to me if I do.
           The first song on side A of the tape is called The Shroud of Purgatory so that is more devil stuff because purgatory is another word for hell and hell is where the devil is and where wicked people go when they die because they have been wicked; I think it is probably a horrible place and I hope I don't go there when I die but I think I probably won't because I'm good most of the time and not wicked at all and don't do bad things.  The song starts off with a noise like a big fire and lots of wind so I suppose it sounds a bit like hell would sound like. It is strange music because there are no drums there is just lots of loud noise and what sounds like people in the background far away - I thought this was interesting and a good way to start off the tape.
            The second song is also a devil song because it is called Satanic Evil but it is very different from the first song because it has fast electronic drums like disco music and over the top of that there is a noise like an german shepherd dog makes just before it attacks you. I liked this song very much because I've never heard anything like it before and I thought it was good fun.
            After this song is another one with all noises in it that sounds a bit lots of big drills on a building site or like how a television sounds when the picture won't come on except it's very loud and then after that is another one which is the same but even louder which is very noisy indeed. At the end of the song there is a sound which sounds like the devil talking, you can tell it is the devil talking because it is a dark, growly voice and I think that is what the devil would sound like.
            The next song Perpetual Desecration is the last song of the first side and is another one with fast electronic disco drums in it and vocals like the devil's growly talking. I think this is a very interesting way of making music and I liked it very much.

A bombed out house from the war.

             On the next side the first song is called devil skin rising and this one is a very noisy one indeed and it made me think of a big war with lots of planes dropping bombs and lots of destruction. I was born January 7th 1944 so I was born in the last big war but I don't remember any of it because I was only a baby then. I do remember though playing in the bombed out houses that were still about when I was about 10, me and my friends used to go in them to see what they were like. I used to like going round the bombed out houses because it was interesting thinking about the war and what it must have been like in them times - I think it would have been horrible with all those people getting bombs dropped on them and getting killed and I wish we didn't have wars because they are not nice.
            After this song is another of the disco ones called Incest of Wasp but the drums aren't quite as fast on this one and there are more other electronic sounds and you can here the growling more on it than on the other disco ones, I like the growling very much because it's a bit strange and makes me laugh.
              Then there is a song called Priesteater which is a funny name for a song because I don't think anybody would really eat a priest. This one is a short one of just noise like the big drills again and so is the next one.
               The last song of the tape is called Satanic Evil II and it is another disco type song with growling on it and voice noises which sound a bit like burping and I suppose it does sound like Satanic Evil music because it is loud and noisy and not really happy music because it sounds more angry than happy.

               Overall I would say I liked listening to this music a lot because it was very strange and enjoyable and a good laugh because it's a bit silly and fun but I suppose it might truly be satanic music about the devil and all his works and that would be a bit scary. I think other people would like it if they heard it because they probably wouldn't have heard music like it before so I think they should. I would give this tape 10 out 10.

Morton Feldman - Crippled Symmetry: at June in Buffalo.

Morton Feldman - Crippled Symmetry: at June in Buffalo (Frozen Reeds)
              This time I am doing some modern classical music by Morton Feldman that was sent to me by Ian from Frozen Reeds which is a record label in Finland. I would like to thank Ian for sending me this music because I've never heard modern classical music before and so I am going to enjoy listening to this very much because I always like hearing new things. 
              Morton Feldman was born in New York to Russian/Jewish parents on January 12, 1926 and he made his classical music and then he died aged 61 of cancer of the pancreas. 61 is a bit young to die so it's a shame that he died then just like it's a shame when anyone dies - I'm older than he was when he died cos i'm 69 but I'm not bothered that i'm going to die because I'm not going to know anything about it probably and I've had a good time in my life and been happy and had good friends and enjoyed myself.       

             When I was getting ready to do this review with Arlo, who helps me with the writing, we looked up all about him and that's how I know when he died and where he came from and we also looked up about modern classical music because I didn't know anything about it so I wanted to learn a bit to help me out with writing the review.  When I first heard of modern classical when we started this review I thought of Nut Rocker by B.Bumble & the Stingers because Nut Rocker is a song that a rock band made of a Tchaikovsky tune. You can hear Nut Rocker here if you like:

              Nut Rocker isn't modern classical though because what we learnt about modern classical is that people in classical music decided to not use the rules of old classical music and make up some of their own rules to see what it sounded like to do that - This means it sounds a bit like old classical music but a bit stranger and not at all like B.Bumble. On these CD's that i was sent which are two CDs of some music of Morton Feldman played in a concert in New York you can tell it is classical music because it has piano in it and flutes and instruments like xylophones and they are all instruments that you play classical music on and you can tell it is modern classical because it sounds a bit like older classical but stranger.

              The first CD in this set of two CD's is the first half of the concert which happened on June 12th 2000 that was played by Eberhard Blum (Flute, Alto flute, Bass flute), Jan Williams (Glokenspiel, Vibraphone) and Nils Vigland (Piano, Celesta) and it starts off with them all playing their instruments together and it is quite slow music and is quite pretty sounding and soft. Then after a little bit it gets even quieter with mostly just flute and vibraphone (or maybe it's glokenspiel) and it sounds a bit like music you would play to a baby to get it relaxed and stop it crying. I think it sounds like music to play to a baby because it has lot of twinkly sounds and soft bits like music for babies has. After a bit you start hearing more piano and it starts sounds a bit heavier than the other instruments and it doesn't sound so much like music for a baby anymore because it sounds more like music for ballet dancing I think and I can imagine people doing some slow ballet dancing where the dancers are slowly waving their arms about. I think this would be nice music to dance to if you were a bit older like me and couldn't move very quick because it is quite slow music and so it wouldn't be tiring. 

                The music kind of carries on being quite slow with different sounds coming in from different instruments and after a bit I thought that this sounded a bit like music you would have in an old black and white horror film about ghosts or something like that because it sounds quite spooky. If I was to make a film with this music I would call it Behind the Bloody Walls and I'd have a house in it where the curtains are always closed and there would be blood on the walls and ghosts that live in the walls that come out of them at night to scare people, I think this would make a very good film indeed.

                 After listening a bit more I was trying to think of when would be a good time to listen to this music and I thought it would be good music to play if you were having a meal with friends or maybe if you were on your own it would be good music to listen to if you wanted to relax and you could lie on your bed and close your eyes and it would be very relaxing indeed because of how calm and slow and nice it is. I liked this CD of the first half of this concert very much. 
                   The second CD is of the second half of the concert and it starts of with mainly flute which I thought was quite nice and it reminded me again of music you would play to a child to get it to sleep like a lullaby, I think this music would work to get kids asleep because it's soft sounding music and I think that is probably what children like. After a bit the piano comes in more and it's still soft and relaxing and nice to listen to because the sounds are quite long in this bit and that makes it even more relaxing than maybe the other CD was. My favourite bit on CD was a bit where the flute sounded like the blower on a ship and it made me think of an old docks with an old ship coming in and I thought this was a nice thing to think of.
                      Overall I think that this a very good thing for me to listen to because it's always nice to have a change and I would like to hear more Morton Feldman and more modern classical music and learn more about it. I am going to take these CDs home and will listen to them when I want to just relax in my room, I think I will enjoy that very much. I would give this Morton Feldman music 10 out of 10 and would like to thank Ian again for sending it to me because I've enjoyed it very much.

Nochexxx - Greatest Record.

Nochexxx - Greatest Record (NCHX).
This time I record reviewing a record because instead I am doing a cassette tape by Nochexxx called Greatest Record. I thought it was interesting to be reviewing another tape because I didn't think anyone made them anymore. It's a lovely looking tape as well because it is all gold and comes with a card thing that tells you what the tape is called.
             I have heard of Nochexxx before because I reviewed his stuff ages back when I first started doing record reviews and I liked his stuff very much. This time to make the review more interesting time we asked him if he would answer some questions and he said yes which I was very pleased about. Here are the questions that we asked and what he said:

I didn't know till recent that people still did tapes, why did you do your music on a tape and not a record or a CD? 

Yeah, there's a thriving underground scene still releasing tape. It's cheap and manufacturing small numbers isn't an issue. Seeing as this release was a nod to the old-school mixtape daze, I felt cassette would be the most appropriate format. 

Do you think tapes are better? Vinyl is king, but i can't always afford it. I love tapes tho - the ferric really does become the music! This will sound snobbish, but i don't like releasing digitally as I feel the listener misses out on the post production artifacts derived from different formats. I'm always thinking about how my music will interact with different formats, it's very much part of the art.  

I thought the tape was very interesting and had lots of different types of  sounds in it that reminded me of lots of things. Do you like a lot of  different music like I do and if so what types do you like? Yes of course; any chef worth his salt loves all ingredients, it's just a case of finding music that has been cooked correctly. I love all genres, but I'm by no means an expert!     

       I think these answers are very interesting and I'd like to thank Nochexxx for answering my questions. One thing I thought was interesting is where he says about mixtapes, mixtapes are when you mix music together like a DJ in a discotheque with no bits between the songs so it just sounds like one long song. This is what this tape is like so instead of reviewing each song I am just going to review the whole thing together all at once.

       It all begins with drums and what sounds a bit like an electric guitar but I'm not sure if it is guitar because I think Nochexxx is more of an electronic musician but I suppose it might be because there's lots of different sounds in this music so it could be. This drumming carries on and like I say there are lots of sounds and things happening like; a man with a voice like Barry White talking, a bird whistling, a saxophone, people clapping, an opera singer, a television going on and all sorts of stuff and it all goes together to make some very funky music indeed which I think is probably disco music. I liked how the tape has started off very much, it is very interesting indeed.
       One bit I thought was most interesting is where a voice says "His name is Head, Dick Head." I think it would be funny if there was a person really called Dick Head and I think if some one was called Dick Head they would probably change their name but I wouldn't because I would think it was funny. After this talking the music carries on being funky disco music and then the music sort of dies out and then there is an answer machine and somebody talking about someone called Dave and then a bit of piano and the music starts up again and seems to change a lot so is very interesting because there is lots to listen to - I especially liked the drums because they made me think of insects.
          The music goes on for a bit and then there is a girl singing "the other night" over and over on top of more disco music and then there is a saying Disco over and over so I was right and this is disco music cos otherwise the guy wouldn't be saying it. After a bit of that and more music there is a little bit of a Rick Astley tune from 1987 called Never Gonna Give You Up and then that changes to some guy talking about shit and Ray Charles and then some other talking which sounds like talking at a party and then there is more disco music and then someone talking about a planet called Orion and this made me think that maybe this was supposed to be space music for a space disco which I think would be an alright thing cos it would be fun I reckon to have a space disco. After a bit more music there is another voice which is a bit weird and again made me think of space cos it sounded a bit like a robot or something talking and then the music starts and it sounds very good because it sounds like strange trumpets and I liked this a lot. The music kind of slows down a bit here and then gets faster again and very funky indeed before it finishes and then that's the end but you can turn the tape over and it's the same thing again on the other side.
        Overall I think that this is a very good tape with very good music on it from Nochexxx which I enjoyed very much indeed and I think people should buy it and play it at their parties and they could get people to dress up as space people and come round and listen to it, I think that would be a lot of fun and I'd like to go to a space party like that. I would give this tape 10 out of 10.   

Rudimentary Peni - Pope Adrian 37th Psychristiatric.

Rudimentary Peni - Pope Adrian 37th Psychristiatric (Southern Records)
This time I am record reviewing a record that was made in 1995 but is being released again now called Pope Adrian 37 Psychristiatric by the band Rudimentary Peni. It is a very special record because it was written when the singer and guitarist from the band Nick Blinko was in a psychiatric hospital after he imagined in his mind that he was a pope called Pope Adrian and it is all about that. I am very interested in this because I was in a hospital too for a long time from 1968 to sometime in the early nineties called Leavesden which was in Abbotts Langley which is coincidentally where Nick Blinko comes from. Nick Blinko was made to go to hospital because he got sectioned which means the doctors decide
you're not fit enough to go out but that isn't what happened to me because I went voluntary after my mother took me to the hospital when I was 24. The reason that my mother took me is because I have a learning disability and I didn't really have anywhere else to go so Doctor Shepherd who was the top doctor of Leavesden asked me if I wanted to stay there and I said yes. Some people didn't like Leavesden but I didn't mind it because they used to take us on trips and the staff were ok most of the time but I do think it was a bit of a dump and I'm glad that I don't live there anymore because I much prefer being out because I like to have my own room and not have to sleep in a dormitory.

Leavesden Hospital where I used to live.

            The first song on this record is called Pogo Pope and it starts off with someone talking in latin saying Papus Adrianus then the noisy music starts off and the singer starts shouting Pogo Pope over and over and this is because pogoing is the jumping up and down dance that the punks used to do and Nick Blinko was a punk and this is a punk record. You can tell it is a punk record because it has loud guitars and shouting like punk records do. I thought this was a very good start to the record because it is all about Nick Blinko thinking he was the Pope. I think it would be funny to have a punk pope and I think that punks should be allowed to be pope if they want to but I don't think people would have that because people didn't really like the punks because they were scruffy. I Liked this song a lot, it made me think of a little kid shouting and having a laugh and the music is great too and loud and exciting and I can imagine people dancing to it like the punks did. Here is a video of Debbie Harry from Blondie talking about the pogo dance so you can learn all about it - I like Blondie and I went to see them a few years back at the Shepherds Bush Empire and I enjoyed it very much but didn't do any pogoing I just sat at the top balcony and watched the show:

A picture of Pope Joan.

               The next song is called The Pope with no Name and it starts off with the same Latin as the first song and someone saying "Last verse, same as the worst." and then there is a load of singing that I couldn't quite make out because it's a bit too quick and shouty but then at the end there is talking again about someone called Saint Joan so we looked that up and found out about a woman who pretended to be a man so she could be Pope but then she had a baby so they found out she was a woman and so they killed her because women aren't allowed to be Pope. I think this is a very interesting story about the woman Pope but I don't think it was right what they did to her and I think it would be alright for a woman to be a Pope and I think a woman could do just as good a job of it as a man could.             

              After that song is another one which starts off with the Latin talking again and then loads of loud, fast guitars and drums but no singing because instead the Latin talking just runs all the way through the song - it's still a good song though and I enjoyed it.

               The next song has the Latin too and this song is very loud and noisy indeed and on this one Nick Blinko sounds even more like a little kid than he did on the first one because he keeps going na na na which is a bit like the sounds that kids make but I think he's doing it because he's a bit mad - I think it's okay to be mad though and some people are born that way like me and some people go mad because their brain changes and they can't help it so I think normal people should be a bit more understanding cos it takes all sorts but some people have no time for mad people and I think that's disgusting.

              The next song is called Muse Sick (sic) but it sound like he is singing music is sick. I liked this one especially at the end where the music stops and there is someone talking and I think it sounds a bit like someone, maybe a nurse in the hospital, taking the mickey a bit and calling him mad - when I was in hospital the staff used to take the mickey sometimes and laugh at me and call me stupid and this made me feel bad. Some people used to attack the staff when they got pissed off with this sort of thing but if you did this they would put you in a side room or in a padded cell so I never did, not that I would anyway cos I don't do things like that, never did and never will cos I'm not that kind of a person. I did get put in the padded cell once for a night because I stole some cigarettes from the store cupboard but I thought it was alright really and I just went to sleep and didn't bother about it.

               Next one is called Vaticant City Hearse and this one is very shouty indeed and sounds a bit like someone in a riot - maybe it's about a riot in the hospital and it seems a bit like maybe Nick Blinko is shouting at his staff. The next one after this is very shouty too and he is shouting I'm a dream and I'm a nightmare over and over so I think he must have been unhappy to say that which I think is a shame but this song was done a long time ago so hopefully he's happier nowadays.

                The next song is another noisy fast one just like all of them and has the Latin in again too and   Nick shouts Yeah a lot but there ain't any other words and then there is a song called Pills, Popes and Potions so I think it is probably about medication cos we looked up the words and it was like a list of medications, I know this because i've been on some of them before. I thought this song sounded like he's gone a bit weird because they'd given him meds which made him go a bit funny. When I was in Leavesden they gave me largactyl and that made me go a bit funny and I had to go outside and my eyes went up in my head and I thought i heard things and they put me in bed and they never gave it me again - I'm glad they never gave it me again because it was a bit horrible.

               The next song is a bit slower than the rest of them but still pretty noisy and it gets all faster at the end and then after that one is one called Regicide Chaz III and I liked the electric guitars on this one because they sound a bit funny and very loud indeed and after this is the last song which doesn't have any words in it again except for the Latin again and what sounds like somebody coughing a lot which I thought was a bit funny cos i'd never heard that in a song before and I thought it sounded a bit like me in the morning when I go out for a cigarette because I always cough a lot in the morning.
                Overall I thought this was a very interesting record indeed because it reminded me of my time in hospital and I also thought it was very good to listen to and I reckon I'm going to listen to it a lot. I hope that Nick Blinko is alright now and not mad anymore and happy like I am. I would give this record 10 out of 10.

Justice & Metro - Rokitg / Dope Boy

Justice & Metro - Rokitg / Dope Boy (Modern Urban Jazz)
This time I am record reviewing a 10" single that I was sent by Tony from Modern Urban Jazz of  songs from Justice & Metro's new CD Oxymoron. I would  thank him very much for sending it and for sending the other CDs that he sent too because I was only expecting the record and it was a nice surprise to get them. Modern Urban Jazz is a record label that makes records and CDs of very good electronic music that is very fast and exciting and I have enjoyed listening to it because I've not really heard music like this before. I also thought it was interesting that this record is ten inches because I've never seen a 10" record before.

Ordinary blokes Justice & Metro.

            I have not heard of Justice & Metro before so I read the information that they sent me with the CDs but all it said was that they are the Batman and Robin of deep Drum & Bass and nothing else. I suppose Justice and Metro do sound like superhero names but they don't look too much like superheroes in their picture they just look like ordinary blokes but I think it's ok to be an ordinary bloke and maybe ordinary blokes can be superheroes if they want to be.
            The first song on the record is called Rokitg and it starts off with fast electronic drums and a sound in the background that made me think a bit of aliens from outer space landing on earth, there is a noise which sounds a bit like growling which I thought could be the aliens voices. After a bit more sounds come up and it gets quite funky and I think it would a good song to play in a disco but I don't think I'd be able to dance as fast it is but I'd have a go. I liked this song very much especially a sound of a drum or something I heard in there which reminded me a bit of a blacksmith's hammer banging in a horseshoe and a sound a bit like a bird, maybe something like a cuckoo first thing in the morning - there are lots of strange sounds in this song that I have never heard before in music.
             The next song on the record is called Dope Boy so I suppose it must be about drugs because dope is another word for drugs. I've never taken drugs except for ones that the doctor gives me. The drugs I get off the doctor make me feel a bit funny in the head first thing in the morning when I take them and I think that might be a bit like what it's like when you take other drugs but I'm not too sure of that - one day I'd like to try some drugs out just to see what they're like but I don't because I might get in trouble and I'm happy enough as I am, I might take some if I found them or something though just to see what they're like. The song starts of with a woman singing Dope Boy over and over with some quiet drums in the background and then a noise that sounds like waves comes in the background so I thought it sounded a bit like music at another disco but this time on a beach because of the waves noise. I think this would be good disco music for people to dance to and have a good time on their drugs because I've heard some people like to do that - What I've heard happens is that people go to parties and someone, maybe the woman in the song, is a drug pusher and they ask people if they want any drugs and then people take them and dance. I think it's ok to take drugs even if they can kill you sometimes because it's up to the person themselves and if you do die you just die and that's a shame but if you know the risks and decide to take them then that's your business.
            And that's the end of the record because there are only two songs on it but I think they are very good songs indeed and I think everyone reading this should buy this record because I think they would like it as much as I did. I would give this record 10 out of 10.